Robotic Hat

Taking the hat off.

2009-03-07T21:30:00.001Z

Hi everyone,
Just to let you know I'm moving my blogging activities over to http://joeljessup.blogspot.com/ .
Also, I'll be posting more frequently and with increased coherence and competence. See you over there!

Scarily We Roll Along

2008-05-29T10:23:00.004+01:00

Today I have a strip up at http://www.scarygoround.com/! It's a rare honour, and something I couldn't have achieved without my brilliant partner, my 'art-slave', if you will, Chris Gould, whose website is here. He's a talented lad, too talented to work with the likes of me. And yet very soon we will be launching our own, top-secret comic venture on the world! Now if you don't mind I have to go and put a giant poultice on my head to get the swelling down.

Oh, I suppose John Allison had something to do with it too.

More updates very soon about important things, like the fact that I seem to enjoy marmite now, and my failed attempt to repair our garden gnome. Also I got married.

10 Bond Titles Less Likely Than 'Quantum Of Solace'

2008-02-05T23:11:00.000Z

1. Firing Blanks

2. The Misogynist Who Loved Me

3. Octovagina

4. Bourne Was Better

5. Bondy Bondy Bondy Jimmy Jimmy James James Boy

6. Cheaper By The Dozen 3

7. Hammertoes

8. Buy These Cars And Watches

9. Michael G Wilson Autumn Project

10. Wint and Kidd Ride Again

Click click click

2007-12-19T22:25:00.001Z

For your Christmas amusement: The Space Ghost Christmas Special.

Gets me every time.

NINJAS!

2007-12-11T18:31:00.000Z

Update number 4: I've also co-written the Honourable Ninja Farm series of short cartoons on Weebl's Stuff. I put these together with Jonti Picking and the amazingly talented Jennifer Upton and they were animated by the genius creature that is Drewmo. You can see them for yourself, you don't need to read my inadequate textual description of them! Ah, the wonders of this internet thing.

Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3

SHRIMP! I mean, PRAWN!

2007-12-11T18:28:00.000Z

Update number 3: A recent project for Weebl's Stuff has been the epic picaresque point and click adventure known as Prawn To Be Wild. Thanks to T-Mobile I worked with Jonti, Jen, Phil and Peabo to create what is basically the Count of Monte Cristo with arse jokes. The final part hits this Friday, but here's all the previous chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

PIGS!

2007-12-11T18:19:00.000Z

Update number 2: My other big project this year was the recently announced Pinky and Perky comeback series for Lupus Films. Appropriate for the year of the Golden Pig. Any fears about this being a Poochy style 'skateboards and people saying dude' revamp should be disspelled by actually watching the show, which, as with anything script-edited by Alan Gilbey, is funny and filled with well-rendered characters. This won't be seen until the end of 2008 so plenty of time to sell all your possessions and buy a TV so big you can make out every 3D-rendered pore in their beautiful pink faces.

CAT!

2007-12-11T18:06:00.000Z

OK, update number 1: Frankenstein's Cat is out of the bag and is apparently going down a storm in France. It's UK debut isn't far away and what I've seen of the show blew my socks off. Seriously. I had to go and get my socks, they had blown a hole in the wall, killed a couple of people. I tend to wear a rather thick argyle weave, and...

Anyway, watch out for the show, I'll probably post more soon...

2007-12-03T14:37:00.000Z

Kitted out

2007-04-04T23:06:00.000+01:00

I've already mentioned Kit Whitfield's brilliant novel, Bareback (now available in paperback form, buy early and often) but Kit's blog on her website is actually equally good value. She talks about getting published, about story structure and just about ideas and interests in general. It's always well written, with chunky in depth posts that are both charming and thought provoking.
Makes you sick, doesn't it?

Aaagh! It's The Mr Hell Show on DVD! Sorry for shouting.

2007-04-02T16:54:00.000+01:00

Yes, the whole series is finally available. This show was a total delight to work on and offers a small army of quality gags sticking their hobnailed boots into your brain. I wrote a lot of sketches but my big contribution was all the Serge the Seal of Death stories. There's only so many times you can write 'And then the seal kills everyone with two huge guns' before you start to worry.
Sell your kids and buy a copy. Although when you do sell them you'll probably get more than the cover price of one copy (unless you have really low quality children), so you could use the proceeds to buy one for everyone you know! Or a better car.

And if you have no children, now's the time to think about it, because the market for child trafficking is great, and you never know when the going rate will dip.

...what was I talking about?

Another cartoon

2007-03-29T12:41:00.000+01:00

Frankenstein's Cat- This dead cat swings.

2006-12-01T15:52:00.000Z

I'm working on various projects right now but my current hot ticket is Frankenstein's Cat, the new kid's animated series made by Mackinnon and Saunders for the BBC. It's based on the successful series of kid's books by Curtis Jobling, whose blog features Bob the Builder versions of Hellboy characters. That in itself would have made the project worth working on, but I came onboard based on the sharp character designs and the cuddly writing team, headed by multi-award stealing script-neurologist Alan Gilbey.
I'm working on a couple of episodes and some other top-secret content, but I'll keep you informed as to when I can let more of the cat out of the bag. Let's just say you'll never look at cheesecake the same way again...

Nanowrimo Day Sev... Oh, wait, hang on...

2006-12-01T15:45:00.000Z

Yep, I didn't make 50,000 words. And yet, I still like to think that I've won Nanowrimo.
OK, not in the literal, actual sense that I have a big shiny certificate saying 'Joel Jessup, winner', but in the much less tangible, slightly self-deluding sense that I have the first 12 chapters of an actual pirate detective novel and am continuing at a regular rate towards completion. The draft has some nice set-pieces, chunks of distinguishable character, and a couple of twists I definitely didn't pre-plan. Congratulations, however, to everyone who did take part and hit 50,000.
The main reason I didn't hit that rate, other than seemingly developing a higher caffeine tolerance than before, is detailed in my next post.

Day 6- Gunpowder, treason and plot holes

2006-11-06T16:42:00.000Z

As you may notice I'm not quite on course yet. This is just a blip and you'll soon see my work pick up as my characters get their teeth into the plot. A totally unexpected and entertaining character has suddenly emerged from an incidental detail and threatens to unseat one of my main characters and I have to decide whether to dial down his personality or just kill him outright. I think I'll go for the third option...
Incidentally, I contribute another explosive Weebl's Stuff article here. Feel free to go ooh and ah. But don't return to it after you've read it.

Day 1- Pirate Music

2006-11-02T00:58:00.000Z

Off to a cracking start! Didn't make 2000 words but I'm pleased with my haul.
I'm going to listen to music while I write but am not confining my soundtrack entirely to shanties and the sound of people dying from scurvy. I'm adding some classical music from the period (which also has plot significance), Tom Waits' Rain Dogs for some crusty colour, and Ultralounge's Mondo Exotica album because sometimes pirates drank cocktails. Or at least they do in my book.

Day -1

2006-10-31T18:42:00.000Z

So close to the start now. Characters and ideas jostle in my head like restless horses waiting for the starter's pistol. So do terrible analogies, as that last sentence reveals...
The main characters have been sketched out in advance, along with the 4 islands that the story takes place in, and the mystery at the centre has enough detail to keep it coherent all the way through. Everything else lingers temptingly in the distance.
The cunning device to the left tracks my daily word count, so please monitor it and shout either encouragement or awed congratulations where appropriate,please. I'm aiming to get at least 2000 words a day, which is both easier and more difficult than it sounds, if that makes any sense. Which it doesn't.
Happy Halloween, by the way. I was planning to dress up as a haggard zombie, clinging on to life with yellowed uncut fingernails, but there's plenty of time for that in the last few days of November...

Nanowrimo 2006- Scramasax Island

2006-10-26T13:56:00.000+01:00

National Novel Writing Month is an annual event that takes place every November. Nationally. For... a month. Participants write a 50,000 word novel (technically a novella, let's not split hairs) in a month, winning nothing but a warm glow and a crippling caffeine addiction. Website here.
In 2002 I took part in and completed the event with my half-baked sci-fi epic Knowhow.
In 2004 I competed again with my exciting Conspiracy thriller The Gingerbread Grail! I did not win. Largely because I didn't plan enough.
Now, in 2006, I'm preparing to take place once again and finally write my long-planned Pirate Detective story, Scramasax Island! It's been kicking around in my head for a while, and this is a chance to get it out in one concentrated blast of creativity.
You'll be able to see my daily word count here:
http://www.nanowrimo.org/simpleinfo.php?uid=132698, and for the duration of November I've pirated up my blog and am going to give regular writing updates as well as posts about creative exercises I'm using and pirate related subjects in general.
Get ready for the 1st of November, and if you want, why not write a novel as well?

The Dahlia Show

2006-10-05T22:12:00.000+01:00

Black Dahlia review
I should probably add the disclaimer that I'm not personally in favour of violence towards women. And I think the film could have been favourably improved by a Holly Johnson musical cameo, ala Body Double.

One-Shot Adventures

2006-09-27T12:09:00.000+01:00

A scrappy little comic for your enjoyment. Click on it to see it at the right size.

Shuffle Reading

2006-09-06T23:13:00.000+01:00

Some forms of divination involve examining entrails, rooting through animal droppings and, most horrifyingly of all, drinking tea. Therefore it's not surprising I would seek a funky new alternative that everyone will be doing in a few weeks, at which point I'll deny I ever came up with it. In the morning take whatever music system you have and whack it on shuffle (if you've got a record player, just juggle a few 45s). The track predicts the events of the day. This morning I got Man Or Astroman's cover of The Jetsons' theme tune, and sure enough I found myself in a thrashy interpretation of a 60s style utopian future, or Costa Coffee, as they like to call it. Try it yourself, as Neil Buchanan used to say.
(I was going to call this post 'Awakening Your Third EyePod' But even I blanched at that pun.)

Detective Show Idea

2006-08-31T17:30:00.000+01:00

The Second-Hand Sense
Don Brissick is a New York homicide cop with a difference... he can communicate with the lead characters of TV series which feature people communicating with the dead! With this valuable second-hand knowledge he can solve crimes, but his strange ability to call people on the phone causes problems in his personal life. Co-starring the leads of Haunted, Tru Calling, Medium, Ghost Whisperer, Rescue Me...

Indiana Jones 4 going ‘Straight-To-Brain’

2006-08-30T20:28:00.000+01:00

The makers of the long awaited ‘Indiana Jones 4’ today announced that rather than being released theatrically, on TV or DVD, it will instead be going ‘Straight-To-Brain’.
“We reasoned that any film we made could never meet up with the expectations of the fans” said Steven Spielberg, director and co-producer of the imaginary film. “So instead we decided we’d just announce its existence and then every fan can enjoy the superior version already existent in their heads.”
Along with the advantages of saving money on actors, special effects and film, this ambitious new method of release means that there is no limit to the film’s content.
“It can be five hours or five minutes long. It can feature young Harrison, old Harrison, Indy as a giant squirrel, whatever.” enthused George Lucas. “ It can transcend all copyright and physical logic. And the beauty part is if we keep the merchandising vague enough, we’ll still make a mint. Damn, wish I’d done this with the Star Wars prequels.”
“My favourite scene is where Indy fights the giant snake monster deep in the heart of the ancient Aztec city.” gabbles Ferdy Grove, a fan. “ At first he’s all like, ‘why’d it have to be a snake’, but then he remembers the advice his Dad gave him before he was killed by the sexy ninjas, and he kills it with the Dagger of Megiddo.”
“I’ve imagined in 10 times already, and I’m going to imagine it again tonight!” yells hardcore Indy fan Robert Talbot. “It’s fantastic how he teams up with Blade, the Predator, and even Han Solo! How’d I come up with this stuff??”

Did you? DID YOU?

2006-08-30T15:59:00.000+01:00

-Did you know Orson Welles was briefly a suspect in the Black Dahlia murder?
-Did you know that 'Whatnot' is the term for a multi-purpose customisable muppet who can be altered to fit sketch or song requirements?
-Did you know Clive Sinclair used Z, X and Q in his product names because they're the least used in the English language?
-Did you know my current profile photograph is in fact Marcello Mastroianni in 'Divorce, Italian Style'?
-Did you know it was my 27th birthday yesterday?
-Did you know that only one of these facts can't be found online?
...
-Did you know that the above is no longer true now that I've written this post?

A brief outburst of doggerel

2006-08-25T14:51:00.000+01:00

Adam and Eve were asked to leave
After The Lord's inspection
It was the first recorded case
Of pastoral ejection.